They Say Don’t Give Up, but It’s Been 22 Years Since I Pursued My Passion for Filmmaking! Does My 40th Birthday Signal a Need for a Path Change?
As I turn 40, I reflect upon the challenging path that has led me to where I am today — alive, sound-minded, and proud. Born in Tehran, I have always found solace, inspiration, and excitement in the realm of motion pictures. They have been my gems, guiding me through life’s ups and downs.
My taste in stories is vast, ranging from art-house masterpieces to various genres of film or TV shows. However, I am selective in my choices; I follow my heart rather than adhere to the opinions of critics or the trends of festivals. I believe that true enjoyment lies in embracing what truly resonates with me.
Beyond my love for stories, I am proud to identify as neurodivergent and queer. These aspects of my identity contribute to the unique perspective through which I experience the world. They shape my understanding, empathy, and connection with others.
Lines: A Collaborative Endeavour with a Compelling Story to Offer
Throughout my life, I’ve worked various survival jobs while pursuing my true passion for storytelling. I wrote, produced, and directed as well, however, Lines, the graphic novel, holds a special place among all my projects; Set in a confined and intimate photography studio, “Lines” follows the story of two lesbian couples — while some have dated before, others are just getting to know each other for the first time. As events unfold, old feelings come bubbling to the surface while new emotions among the foursome add even deeper complexity to the story. Originally intended to be a movie, I faced challenges securing the necessary funds for production. But instead of giving up, I decided to transform it into a captivating graphic novel because visual storytelling is my thing.
Catch a Sneak Peek on the Book’s Instagram Page, lines_graphicnovel2023
Striving to Understand
I understand the struggles that many indie publishers/producers face when it comes to getting noticed, and it’s frustrating not knowing when is your turn to find your audiences. Having the privilege to entertain people is the ultimate goal.
People often say not to give up, but do they truly grasp that it’s been 22 years since I was 18 in Tehran, where I published my first screenplay and dreamed of establishing a vibrant publishing and production company? A place where captivating stories could come to life — a vibrant hub for storytelling. Despite never giving up, it’s been a challenging 22 years, and my dreams still haven’t come true.
My Thinking…
Lines, the graphic novel, is my best collaborative work. If/When it connects with the readers or resonates with the audience, it’s like validating my storytelling skills and understanding of people. It’s proof that I’ve got a knack for capturing the essence of the human experience and expressing it in my own way. And if it doesn’t, means I’m not the one for the job, maybe I’ve always only used storytelling as a coping mechanism and a way to escape from the struggles I faced during my childhood and my form of self-medication throughout my adult life. It’s kind of bittersweet, I guess, but there’s a truth in it. This work stands as a mirror reflecting my skills, serving as a testament to my growth as a storyteller.
Why It Matters to Me?
Growing up in Tehran, Iran, stories served as my refuge — a navigational tool through the complexities of my formative years and a therapeutic outlet in adulthood. Like Jane Campion, who found solace in movies during her teenage years, I’ve been captivated by the transformative power of images and film, encapsulating the breadth of human imagination, thoughts, fears, and dreams. Filmmakers such as Krzysztof Kieslowski, Lynne Ramsay, Lars Von Trier, Woody Allen, Richard Linklater, and Lisa Cholodenko have particularly intrigued me for their exploration of the human psyche’s complexities, philosophy, psychology, self-reflexivity, and romanticism.
My passion for storytelling in plays and film remains the driving force behind my vision to contribute to the industry and play a role in creating the world I yearn for — one filled with captivating stories.
“Happiness… I will truly be happy when I create a movie that resonates with people, becoming a part of their life’s journey. That would make me the happiest person on earth. That, to me, would be the climax of joy.”
What Do You Think?
I’m not feeling sad, but I could really use an answer to help me make some plans. You know what? I absolutely love those service stations along the roads! There’s nothing like grabbing a cup of coffee and treating myself to a delicious slice of cake while cruising down the freeway. I find so much joy in driving and taking in the beautiful changing landscapes. And let me tell you, stopping to admire and touch those old trees, it’s like a magical moment. But here’s my dilemma: Do I need to give up on my dream of being in the storytelling world and running a film company, and instead, become a truck driver, or…? What do you think?
By launching a crowdfunding campaign, I hope to spread the word about this project and potentially turn it into a movie. While I’m crossing my fingers, I acknowledge that outcomes may vary. Regardless, if things don’t unfold as envisioned, I have trees to hold and coffees to buy at the service stations on the roads.
